Attention seeking
A phrase some people use when a child is upset or acting out. It often hides a real need, such as comfort, safety or help.
Applies across the UK
You may hear this in a meeting: "she just wants attention". It sounds like an answer, but it usually stops people looking for the real reason. When a child keeps seeking an adult, they are telling you something. Many people who work with children now say "connection seeking" or "communicating an unmet need" instead, because wanting an adult's attention is a need, not a trick.
If someone describes your child this way, it is fair to ask: what do you think my child needs at that moment, and what happens if they get it? That question moves the conversation from blame to support.
Other words for this
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You might hear connection seeking
Many practitioners now say connection seeking, or describe the unmet need, instead of attention seeking. The newer wording treats the child's bid for an adult as a need to meet rather than a habit to ignore.
Related words
Where this comes from
- Distressed behaviour: a guide for all audiences , National Autistic Society. Checked 2026-08-15.
Your child doesn't need a diagnosis to get support
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