Thinking about getting help for your child
Maybe school has raised something. Maybe home feels harder than it should. Maybe you've been quietly comparing your child to their friends for months. You don't need to be sure, and you don't need to wait for a crisis. Asking for help ties you to nothing. Here's how getting help works in the UK, step by step.
What to do, step by step
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Trust what you're noticing
You know your child best. Something may feel different or hard. It might be big reactions, trouble with focus, friendships that never quite stick, or school mornings that end in tears. That's worth taking seriously. You don't need a name for it before you ask about it. Noticing early is a strength, not an overreaction.
Worth gathering
- A simple diary of moments: what happened, when, and what helped
- Notes on where things are hard: home, school, or both
- Anything school has said, even in passing
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Talk to your child's school
Start with the class teacher or form tutor. Then ask to speak to the SENCO SENCO The teacher in your child's school who leads support for children with special educational needs. They are usually the quickest person for a parent to reach. A clinician has not checked this definition yet. Read the full definition of SENCO . Every school has one. Ask what they've noticed, and what support the school can put in place now. SEN support SEN support The everyday help a school in England puts in place for a child with special educational needs. It is based on what your child needs, not on having a diagnosis. Read the full definition of SEN support at school is based on your child's needs. The school doesn't have to wait for a diagnosis to start it.
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Book a GP appointment
Take your notes and give clear examples. Say what your child does, how often, how long it's been going on, and how it affects daily life. Ask how children get assessed in your area. GPs can often refer children to a paediatrician Paediatrician A paediatrician is a doctor for babies, children and young people. A community paediatrician is the one you are most likely to meet for development, behaviour and disability. Read the full definition of Paediatrician , CAMHS CAMHS NHS teams that support children and young people with mental health difficulties. Referrals usually come from a GP, school or another professional. A clinician has not checked this definition yet. Read the full definition of CAMHS , or a local team that assesses how children develop. For some assessments, such as autism, your child's school or a health visitor may need to make the referral. The GP can tell you which applies where you live.
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Understand where a referral can lead
It depends on what's going on. A referral referral When a professional passes your child on to a specialist team for assessment or treatment. A GP, school or health visitor can usually make one. Read the full definition of referral might go to a community paediatrician Paediatrician A paediatrician is a doctor for babies, children and young people. A community paediatrician is the one you are most likely to meet for development, behaviour and disability. Read the full definition of Paediatrician , to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services), or to a specialist team for autism, ADHD and similar needs. Whoever makes the referral, ask three things. Who has it gone to? Has it been accepted? And how long is the wait near you?
The NHS says an assessment can take a few months or longer once a referral is accepted. Waits vary a lot by area, so ask near you rather than going by the national average.
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Don't wait for the system to start helping
Support doesn't begin with a referral referral When a professional passes your child on to a specialist team for assessment or treatment. A GP, school or health visitor can usually make one. Read the full definition of referral , and it doesn't depend on one. Small changes at home and at school can start today. The clearer your picture of your child's strengths and needs, the better each talk that follows will go. That might be with a teacher, a GP GP Your family doctor. For many families the GP is the first person to talk to, and the person who refers your child on to a specialist. Read the full definition of GP or an assessment team.
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Look after yourself too
This stage can feel lonely. You're carrying a worry you can't yet name, and everyone around you seems to have a view. Other parents who've been down this road are some of the best people to learn from. Look for your local parent carer forum, and lean on the charities below.
Common questions
Does my child need a diagnosis before they can get support at school?
No. SEN support at school is based on your child's needs, not on a diagnosis. Talk to the SENCO about what can be put in place now, and keep a note of what's agreed.
What if school says my child is fine?
Lots of children hold it together at school and let it out at home. That doesn't mean nothing is going on. Keep your own dated notes, share clear examples with the school, and ask them to watch for it. You can still see your GP without the school agreeing.
What should I actually say to the GP?
Say what your child does, how long it's been happening, and what you've tried. Say how it affects daily life: school, sleep, friendships, family. Bring your notes. If you want to ask about an assessment, say so clearly at the start.
Where can I get free advice about school support?
Every local authority has a SENDIASS. It's a free service that gives fair advice and support on special educational needs and disabilities. It is on no one's side. Search your council's name plus 'SENDIASS' to find yours.
Where next on the journey
Start understanding your child now
A free profile maps your child's strengths and needs across 8 dimensions. It helps you, and every talk that follows with school, your GP or an assessment team.
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